Am I into WHAT?

It's been nearly nine years since my husband passed on very unexpectedly.  And for a number of those years  friends have encouraged me to 'get out there.'  That's not that easy to do when I know how good I had it for 28 years.  At this (st)age of life....it seems more than daunting.  It seems ridiculous!

But the stars aligned and I had a bit of a mind shift.  I tried to figure out what exactly shifted.  It seemed a bit weird out there. What was I emitting that seemed to attract men who had no income, didn't own a home (really not a requirement),  had lost a home, had multiple marriages under their belts (three seemed a very popular number), were struggling with work (yeah, I get that one, I really do), had wheels but they looked like they wouldn't keep spinning too much longer, and if they golfed they got all weirded out on the course (jeez just relax and the club will hit the ball).

The fact is, I have to admit I'm the problem.  Can't blame what's on the path if I choose to walk it.  Is it I have to feel superior?  Do I like lost, abandoned animals?  I have never brought home a stray.  Am I in the 'fix-it' mode as though I'm working a real estate transaction for clients?  Is it the 'mom' mode?  Gosh even my kids would admit I wasn't the completely traditional mom.  If something was broken I'd usually tell them to figure out how to fix it.

Here's a rundown of what happened.

-I reconnected with someone via Facebook.  FaceBOOK does NOT replace face TIME.  It gets very murky in cyber space.

-I had random requests by guys on Facebook saying I seemed like someone they'd like to get to know.  I think shortly after that FB put some more controls on who could see a member and I set those up.

-One day a guy performing marshalling duties on a golf course started following our foursome on the back nine.  My golf-gal buddy and I had joined up with two cute boy toys but she noticed the marshall was hitting on me.  And it turned out he was.  He volunteered his age.  He was about ten years younger than me.  He said he was an engineer at a construction equipment firm.  Interesting.  We traded numbers but I found the fear of the unknown was too much for me even though he called a couple of times.

And then there was This GuyThis Guy was a tenant in a property I had on the market. He was probably in his mid 60's, very nice, and very willing to work within the parameters of getting the property shown.  One day he said maybe we could get a cup of coffee and he could ask me about real estate.  Well sure!  I'm ready to find out if we have a mutually acceptable basis upon which to do business.  That's a direct line I use when I explain what my interview process is to potential clients.

So we met up.  But before that, it occurred to me to google him.  So I did.  He had a website.  This Guy was a dowser.  I actually knew what a dowser was!  It's somebody who finds water under the ground.  He used witching sticks.  The site alluded to types of companies he had worked for.  This Guy was also a business coach.  And since most owners didn't have time to generate leads, they paid him to do that for them.  I get that -  know it can be a challenge to prospect. Based on the types of books he kept around his house, This Guy had an interest in spirituality.

We had coffee one afternoon at a local place.  I've found the best way to have a conversation, rather than a mon-versation, is to ask questions.  And he was answering!  Third marriage was ending, had a girlfriend too (hmmm), drove a nice sporty Lexus (or was it an Acura?).  He was presentable in public.  He owned a place with one of the wives but didn't live there.  He'd owned lots of houses over the years.

But then This Guy started talking about some of his other talents.  He apparently had a knack for changing the weather.  Hmmm.  He gave examples of local weather successes. He's God-like too, I guess.  That wasn't on the website.

Then This Guy started asking me some questions.  We got on religion.  And I was upfront about where I am with that.  He told me about some seminars he'd attended over the years at Asilomar (south of Monterey on the coast). I'd actually been there for a biz seminar decades ago.  And then he said I might be interested in going to one of the weekend meetings there in the next few weeks.  And the kicker came next.  This Guy wondered if I was into clothing optional seminars!

I replied "not so much" and as I said that I sat back, smiled, and thought, let's just see where this goes.  He shrugged his shoulders and said, 'oh, too bad.'  Yeah right, too bad.  We chatted a bit more.  We'd been there about an hour.  He'd finished his coffee. I'd finished my herbal tea.  He had walked there, and I can't remember if I drove or rode my bike to the coffee shop.

I told several of my friends about this.  They laughed hysterically.  As I've pondered that coffee-talk session I wondered is this how it is now?  Since everybody is older I guess time is at a premium, so do guys go straight for the mark?  If they hit it they're a winner.  If not, they can back it off and come around for another shot, or move on to the next target in the herd out there.

So with that, I've become more of a spectator than a participant.  And it's all good.  And it's mostly all funny.

Oh I sold the place That Guy lived in and he moved out before the transaction closed.  He was thrilled to let me know that he'd paid cash for a double-wide motorhome for $22,000 not too far away.  

Live richly,

marilyn

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