Reality? hhhmm...maybe not.

Hello.  You've reached the Schumachers.  We're either in or we're out.  Leave a message!  Make it work!  Carry  on!  Auf wiedersehen!   (To me those last words sound like veedershen, in my world.)

You have just read how my message machine answers my home phone line.  Those are lines from Project Runway.  I love that show!  I came across it by accident when I was channel surfing probably at least four years ago.  I'm not Heidi Klum, but I could 'make it work' on my machine!

What's hysterical is that many friends call and they just crack up over it - each time.  And there are the first-timers who don't know what to say when they listen to it.  And of course the mystery calls, the ones that are machine-dialers only...and they miss the whole thing because they don't have a brain.

I do have an affinity for reality TV shows.  That's not to say it's an addiction.  Just an affinity.  BUT I don't care for those shows that feature hollering over-sized moms teaching dance to little girls (with their insane mothers), housewives of wherever, Snookie (or whatever her name is) and a beauty parlor, and on and on.

The shows I do like have some legitimate talent that must be demonstrated prior to being chosen.  Now, don't get this mixed up with sports.  Sports is not reality TV.  Real sports is sports and has it's own categories.  

I like Project Runway.  Those people have real talent.  They sew (who sews these days?) and make gorgeous (mostly) garments for all kinds of people in a day!  They do best with size two models who don't use much fabric, but they do try to squeeze out larger sizes for the rest of us, when the script calls for it.

I like the cooking shows.  I'm not too keen on watching someone boil water while peeling potatoes.  But put a timer to the chore with a box or basket of food, and some of the top chefs around the world - now you're twenty minutes! 

But then I don't like screamers. Those are the ones who are good and coordinate a competition but who shout, swear, and endlessly rant on people who shouldn't even be allowed on TV.  Off with their heads!

My great friend, Debbie, is very big on the outdoor stuff like The Deadliest Catch, the Alaskan crab haul on private boats where they make their living in the most gawd awful wind, weather, and waves.  She also likes something about protecting the whales where they use big and little boats to get to the foreign whalers.  I watched it but I was bored..and sad.

DC4's -Our planes didn't look so good...but we the got the job done. 

I've taken a liking to the show that flies small planes around Alaska, in the worst weather, to get people food.  I kind of know about that because when I was pregnant with our son, I flew co-pilot on DC 4's (C-54's military designation), on the summer salmon haul out of Kenai, Alaska, picking up 13 totes of about 1500 pounds of salmon each, packed by fishers off the beach, who lived in containers (yes, they did) out there.

That was rough and cool to do!  But we didn't have reality TV then.  Gosh, we could have been stars!  Maybe not...flying, as they say, is hours of boredom interspersed with moments of terror.

The truth is, it's all about the camera crews!  They have it a bit easier inside a kitchen, but outside in the 3Ws (wind, weather, waves) those guys are the total heroes.  That's who puts the real in reality TV.  Without those folks, we wouldn't have anything to watch.

Oops...I need to go.  Project Runway is on.  Make it work!  Carry on!

Live richly!



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