Almost Christmas

follow me on my weekly Alameda Real Estate blog....MarilynSchumacher.com 

It was the end of June. I don't know why we were thinking about holiday letters, but my dear friend, Debbie, and I started doing exactly that. Maybe we just needed to laugh...and laugh we did.

If I'm not driving I write most of my thoughts on my phone. I've been known to stop my bike when something strikes me as funny or interesting or witty. After all, that's what phones are for: writing.

Here's our holiday letter (our year in review):

It's been a good year. The kids had their 'firsts":
-Johnny lost his first tooth while Tommie was practicing his golf shot with his father's new club. 
-Mary got her period. 
-Jane gave up her virginity. 
-We lost our house due to foreclosure.  
-And our health insurance got canceled because we couldn't afford the premiums.

Our car's in the shop for a bit after Leonard (hubby) mistakenly told the car to park itself and realized too late that our car didn't have that function. He backed it onto the hood of the VW behind us and it looked like it was having a hump fest. 

We tried Uber for our first time. We got into the wrong car, a black Dodge. Turns out it was an umarked police vehicle. We told the driver, also an umarked police officer (woman), to take us to the airbnb we had rented. 

Low and behold, the address was just a few numbers off, and we walked into a brothel. Boy, were we surprised! And yet, we had some fun with folks that we hope we will never see again.

Let us know how your year went! We can compare notes! or not.  

As you no doubt know, my motto is 'If I complain, you have the right to slap me!' Just the facts, ma'am. 


Tell me if you have anything to contribute to our holiday letter. We hope you do...because we think there's a market out there for our product.

Live richly, marilyn and debbie

PS Don't be surprised if you get a card from us, this holiday season.